Thursday, April 13, 2017


I seriously need time to reflect. Turning 30 this year and I'm freaking out. I'm nowhere near my life goals. I'm constantly worried about how my life in general. Nine years since I graduated from college and one thing I really missed is my idealism. I’ve felt this beaten long ago but I refused to acknowledge it because choosing to do so could be the start of something that I will regret in the long run. It’s a feeling that I’ve been trying to shrug off as just a phase but I just can’t deny it anymore. Nine years ago, I had a game plan on how I will live my life and at present I’m nowhere near what was my dream before. “Was’ because right now I don’t feel that it’s my dream anymore. I don’t feel the same drive and enthusiasm that I used to have. I won’t deny that at one point my life I regretted some of my past decisions that were fueled by passion. I wish I was more practical and realistic back then. Maybe if I were that kind of person I wouldn’t feel this way anymore. However if I look back during those times and if I ask myself did I regret having those memories? I can honestly say that the answer is no. I had the time of my life and I learned so many lessons. Truth be told, maybe it is part of the reason why I feel this way right now. I’ve set myself up for disappointment. Maybe it’s not yet late, maybe I could still be that optimistic fresh graduate that I used to be. But right now I’m struggling to hold on what little drive that I still have inside

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